Why "why?" isn't a productive question

Use any other interrogative other than "why". Why you ask? Consider the question I so often hear from managers:

"Why would he do that?"

How do you feel when someone asks you, "why did you do that?" When I ask teams this they get it right away, "I feel like I have to defend myself". Frankly, most people seem to understand this when asked. Consider other ways to ask this question:

"Please tell me what happened that led you to this decision?"

"Can you share your process for deciding on "x" as the right course of action?"

"What led you to take this action?"

The goal of a question is to gain information. Now if you have another goal, I don't recommend a question (more on this later). The effectiveness of a question can be measured by the quality and amount of information it produces. If you need information you want to create as little interference for the individual of whom you are inquiring as possible. Interference is the reaction most of us experience when we are uncomfortable. An example of this is when we or a loved one receives news from our physician. We often can't listen after a certain point because we are experiencing so much inteference (ranging from discomfort to anxiety). The more interference the receiver of your question experiences, the less information they will provide. If you want information, use any other question but one containing "why".

Yes, it is pretty simple. So how come I still hear so many "whys" in workplaces? I believe this is because inquiry is a skill we practice with little formal learning. For leaders inquiry is becoming a very important competency. With more collaborative work places, inquiry is at least as important (and probably more) as advocacy. Please do your own research. Listen at work over the next two weeks and see how often you hear "why".

I recommend a practice if you want to develop more skill at inquiry. Write down your questions before you ask them. First remove the "whys" you find and replace them with a more "curious" interrogative. Then write your question several different ways. Ask the question that will get you the most information. This is a practice that I have given to a number of clients. In this way your questions will improve and you will gain more information from fewer questions. Please allow yourself time to practice.

When one of my clients started writing down his questions, he told me that he couldn't ask any the first week, "they were all bad". Considering his situation, this was a productive insight. Eventually, with lots of practice, he became more skillful.